Be Strange But Don’t Be A Stranger
Belonging has always been important to me, because I never quite felt I did. I have been a fish out of water much of my life which is why perhaps Alan Watts’ words resonated with me. They remind me that whenever I feel lesser than, not up to scratch, different; that this is who I am and that is OK.
You don’t come in to this world, you come out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here. Alan Watts
To not be a stranger was always a driving force for me but rather than the more sensible approach of striving to find my place and reaching for my potential, I shrunk myself, kept myself small, bending myself out of shape. This way, I reasoned, I would not be noticed, I could fit in.
But then you get to a point in your life where all this camouflage and sabotage is exhausting. It’s time for those ugly sisters to move over. I’m on a timer here, stuff to do, tempus fugit and all that.
My personal belief is that we choose a life that offers us particular lessons to learn. I wouldn’t say I’ve got there yet, but my experience gives me a real heads up with helping others facing the same challenges. We all have to find our own path but being able to provide a bit of light and some helpful signposts along the way is maybe why I am here. Even if I never reach where I want to go, to feel secure enough to be vulnerable, I don’t think that disqualifies me from helping others to get there.
I am more than happy to be a bad example if I can’t be a shining role model!
Some of the unique gifts that being me has produced include ..
· I am good at taking different perspectives. Having observed people from the outside for so long, I often see things a bit differently. That generally includes the funny side too.
· I am fascinated by people. I love trying to fathom what motivates them and spotting their quirks, foibles and beautiful flaws.
· I am inspired by those who have faced injustice. I want to help unravel those knots so they can start to move past the past, regain self-belief and find hope once more. Or perhaps for the first time.
· I am chameleonic. My wish to adapt in order to fit in has heightened my sensitivity to environments. I am good at meeting people where they are and reflecting back their concerns so I can be a mirror for them to consider things through.
These abilities, honed from my perceived imperfections, are the basis for my strengths as a coach. I seek to understand people more deeply, to see beyond the mask, to explore, engage, enrichen. I create a safe place to discover what is behind those layers of protection that we use to hide our supposed failings and expose the beauty that’s within; our strengths, our passions and our unique souls.
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of pottery repair. Meaning golden joinery. Just like us, it is the flaws that make the pieces unique, fascinating and imperfectly beautiful. We are all someone worth knowing.
